Vanilla and How Anything Does NOT Go

Vanilla
6 min readFeb 14, 2020

In Steven Spielberg’s 1984 masterpiece Temple of Doom, the opening sequence begins with Kate Capshaw, the lead female actress, singing in Mandarin Cole Porter’s “Anything Goes”. The film is set in 1935, one year after Mr. Porter’s play of the same name debuted with much success. This most magnificent of film openings was Mr. Spielberg’s love letter to cinematic grandeur of movie’s past: he had made so much money with Raider’s of The Lost Ark, that he opened his next film utilizing magical realism showing a bevy of sparkling showgirls… doing the splits.

At the end of Mr. Spielberg’s beautiful, future wife’s song, where she has said in subsequent interviews that her gorgeous red dress was so tight she was sewn into it and could barely move or breathe, he visually presents an Adonis among men adorned in Bogie’s best white tuxedo, blue eyes piercing and with more masculinity radiating than Dwayne the Rock Johnson and Jason Statham combined. Harrison Ford would cement his status as a leading man, a legendary heart throb, and a 20 million per picture actor in those few seconds he takes to walk down the stairs as Indiana Jones, every man’s hero, every woman’s wet dream, to take his seat at the table. Maybe it’s the hair?

Written by English satirist and humorist P.G. Wodehouse and British ex-pat Guy Bolton, the singing and dancing musical play “Anything Goes”, from which the opening song of Temple of Doom paid homage to, was set on a steamship traveling from America to Great Britain. Newly adopted “bad behaviors” evolving out of the post Victorian era were humorously satirized in the play would most certainly set a standard and define going forward how the times they were a changing.

Victorian English sensibility of the 1800’s had graciously continued into the early 1900’s on through the decidedly not so mad period of King George the V only to crumble briefly in 1936 during the 11 month rule of Edward the VIII. The British Empire would be resurrected, albeit a wee bit socially damaged, to go on to become even more formidable during the reign of George the VI or “Bertie” as he was lovingly called by his family. Thank goodness the father of Queen Elizabeth the II had some morals, values, a backbone…and loved dogs.

The world was changing more rapidly than it ever had before during the early 1900’s. Mr. Porter’s play humorously discusses how people of the times were finished with pretending to be something they were not and how telling the truth about everything, all of the time to everyone was needed and by doing so, ushered in an era of great change. “Anything Goes” referred to young ladies saying “NO!” to arranged marriages as well as to gentleman saying “YES!” to marrying the woman whom they wished. Both sexes from this era made the choices to pursue careers that suited them personally rather than professions chosen by their family’s dictate and or social standing.

Was Edward the VIII, the brief and unsuccessful successor to that Lion of Lions King George the V, influenced by the lyrics and book of Mr. Porter, Mr. Wodehouse and Mr. Bolton’s groundbreaking play? Two years after the musical debuted, he would walk away from the English throne and instead, galavant around Europe with an American Divorcee Nee Hussy, where they would both mooch off of his wealthy friends. Anything certainly did go at this time and both Britain and Europe would be saved by his far nobler younger brother’s staunch reserve, devotion to the crown and family as well as excellent communication skills. Take that, you scandalous Dandy.

Royal scandal and the near collapse of the British Empire aside, thank goodness the neo-Renaissance of the Jazz age took place. Women fought and gained the right to vote, suddenly music became fun and you were able to dance to it, and people evolved and acted as individual personalities. We have yet to again experience a more progressively creative time for music, art, dance and literature. As the creatrix of modern dance Isadora Duncan once said: “All true artists are revolutionist.”

Gertrude Stein, an American woman of Jewish descent during this time achieved the unheard of feat of being a turn of the century woman who graduated from medical school only to walk away from her degree in order to fund struggling artists in Pre-World War II Paris. A world without Gertrude Stein and her bravery to walk away from societies norms, would be a world without Matisse, Picasso, Hemingway, Apollonaire, Fitzgerald, Toulouse Latrec, Gaugain and Renoir. Let alone the fact that she and her lesbian life partner drove an ambulance during World War II assisting the French resistance. Yet poor Alice Toklas, Gertrude’s wife, is only remembered for her hashish cookies…

The libertine intellectualism of the 1920’s and 30’s contributed more to art and culture than centuries of ongoing secular vs. sacred momentary lapses of puritanism ever did. As a Vanilla, I embrace all of these turn of the century buds and blossoms as well as collect the petals of full blooms from that time in order to dry and store them so they may overpower the psyche with their delectable oders. In our sad, drab, artificially coloured and Fabreze scented modern world though, intellectualism coupled with Truth, Beauty and Goodness has lost footing where vapid, hopeless, inebriated, drug addled libertinism has gained.

Enter the long dark night of the Daphne cycle. As a modern woman with modern aesthetics, being true to oneself means choosing more and more Vanilla like behaviors ending in Vanilla like consequences. Why decide between this man or that man who are not in line with your morals and values causing you to challenge your core beliefs when a life can be chosen full of art, music, and happiness, which will eventually be shared with the right man who most importantly, embodies your own morals and values?

Is it not better to keep running toward what feels and is good rather than to be stuck settled in misery hoping that maybe things will get better if you just change/accept/deny/try harder/collude/give in/give up/surrender or insert any other nausea inducing negative lifestyle choice chosen to placate others for social acceptance here? The answer of course is to run and run and run and keep running. Say NO, NO and NO to anything that does not go perfectly with your morals and values as a Vanilla. Art is beautiful and good, music is glorious and dancing is fun but a happy home full of love trumps all. Be Vanilla, stay Vanilla and do not give in, give up and never surrender your guiding light of goodness to common and popular ideas and ideals no matter how catchy the tune is that accompanies them.

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